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As of today;

Life is gooooood!

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I want to believe that you care.

I want to believe that you used to care.

I want to believe that you ever cared.

I want to believe.

Make me believe.

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Sometimes I just give up on guys.
I really do.

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Im not going to be sick this weekend.

Its a promise and a goal!

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I think I've actually given up completely on you.

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All I can say is grow up!

m.

So at the mo its seems as I am in control, and I have all these choices. Pff. But really I'm not. I never really am. Because I dont try. I dont put myself out there. I dont ever put any effort in. But I do. Well I do try. Its like, hmm. Its like fishing. I am like the pro at catching the fish, but I fail at reeling them in. I can "pick the right bait, that all the fish love". I "go fishing in the right spots". And I definitly "hook the best fish". But then, its like after all of that, I have no strength left to reel it in. After all my hard work, and I end up giving up, and putting that fish back into the swim as I watch it swim away, and get caught by the next fisher, so easily. I dont really get it, because, Im confident, self-assured. I definitly have a high self esteem. So maybe that makes people think Im high mantienence. I think so high of myself, people dont even bother trying because Im just too full of myself for my own good. Huh. Thats probably it. But then what do I know?

5683#

So on one hand, I dont care.
But then, part of me wants to care.
I want to want this.
I want to not be okay with this not happening.
So maybe I do care.

so.

So I havent really been writing much,
Probably because lately; I dont even know what to say.
I hate getting in those moods where you just want to write so much about so many diff things & its like

Where to start?