So at the mo its seems as I am in control, and I have all these choices. Pff. But really I'm not. I never really am. Because I dont try. I dont put myself out there. I dont ever put any effort in. But I do. Well I do try. Its like, hmm. Its like fishing. I am like the pro at catching the fish, but I fail at reeling them in. I can "pick the right bait, that all the fish love". I "go fishing in the right spots". And I definitly "hook the best fish". But then, its like after all of that, I have no strength left to reel it in. After all my hard work, and I end up giving up, and putting that fish back into the swim as I watch it swim away, and get caught by the next fisher, so easily. I dont really get it, because, Im confident, self-assured. I definitly have a high self esteem. So maybe that makes people think Im high mantienence. I think so high of myself, people dont even bother trying because Im just too full of myself for my own good. Huh. Thats probably it. But then what do I know?